


The Heart Sees What the Eyes Can't

by Madkat89



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dwarven Ones | Soulmates, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Female Bilbo Baggins, Fluff, Hobbits in Erebor, Injury Recovery, JK - You know how I love HEA's, Overprotective Dwarves, Possibly Unrequited Love, Rule 63, Temporary Blindness, fem!Bilbo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:14:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24817411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madkat89/pseuds/Madkat89
Summary: Being in love is hard sometimes, being in possibly unrequited love is even harder. Bella and Kili confide in each other about their Ones and whether or not they should actually risk everything for love.
Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Dwalin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 150
Collections: Quote Prompt Memes





	1. Kili

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [quoteonlyprompts](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/quoteonlyprompts) collection. 



> Sorry I haven't posted much this week, it's been very busy.  
> This is going to be a two-shot, possibly even three chapters, we'll have to see.  
> Enjoy!

She was settled in her comfortable chair in front of the fireplace in the company's room. She could tell that the fire was starting to burn down and would need another log soon, but she ignored it for the moment, focused on getting an intricate section of her knitting just right. She had just finished the row when she heard the light scuff of quiet footsteps. Tilting her head slightly, she called, "Kili?"

He chuckled but there was an underlying hint of sadness, "How do you do that?"

She smiled at him, "I've told you, hobbits have good hearing. It helps us be sneaky and stay out of sight. Come, look at my knitting and tell me what you think?"

He obediently took the bundle she held out to him and examined it closely, "What are you making?"

She frowned slightly, "I'm trying to make fingerless gloves for Dwalin for when he's patrolling outside Erebor that would fit under his knuckle dusters. Trying to give them a bit of strategic cushioning for when he hits something without making it too thick that it impedes movement and flexibility. So? How does it look?"

There was honest admiration in his voice, "It looks really good. And you've got the dwarven pattern just right, it's one that he's always favored. Are you at a good stopping place?"

She nodded, "Yes, I just finished a row. So what brings you to my corner of Erebor?"

He handed her the knitting and she tucked it away in the basket, "It's a lovely day outside, I thought that you might want to go on a walk with me."

She smiled at him and stood carefully, "I would like that." 

She held out her arm and he gently took it and looped her arm through his. He walked slowly, shortening his stride to make easier for her to keep up. When she heard the click of the door behind them letting her know that they'd left the room, a hint of anxiety shot through her. Trying to distract herself, she asked cheerfully, "So, tell me how things are coming along. Have they managed to get that first shaft unblocked yet? And I know that the gates are fixed, but have they truly been repaired or is it just the quick fix that they did to keep the storms out?"

She heard the sound of people around them, a myriad of voices chattering, but tuned them out easily, all of her attention on Kili. He laughed and it sounded a little bit easier than his earlier one. "My, full of questions aren't you? We're you always this nosy?"

She replied pertly, "You should be used to it by now. We've known each other nearly a year, give or take, so it shouldn't surprise you in the least. Besides, you're one to talk about being nosy. Some of the questions you asked me, you awful thing."

His voice was filled with faux innocence, "I have no idea what you mean."

She laughed at that, the sweet sound turning heads, not that she could see it. "You know exactly what I'm talking about, little brother. You're as curious as a cat and then some. And don't think that Dwalin hasn't told me about you and Fili, thick as thieves you two were according to him, and always asking why, why, why. Said that it was enough to drive a dwarf fair daft at times."

He glared at the watching dwarves and they quickly found other places to be. He fought to keep his voice light and cheerful when he mock grumbled, "It's not fair, Dwalin telling you everything. We need someone to tell us what sort of things you got up to as a pebble."

Amusement filled her voice, "I was a faunt, not a pebble. I would tell you that I was a perfect child, but I was quite the wild little thing. It amused my mother and both baffled and horrified my father at times, but he loved both of his wild lasses unconditionally. I knew that whatever trouble I had gotten into, he would just shake his head and sigh, before sitting me down and sorting out whatever it was that I had gotten myself into this time. He was a very good man, I was fortunate to have him as my papa."

He carefully steered her around a corner and down a flight of stairs, "He sounds like it. Did your mother get upset over your escapades?"

Bella laughed so hard at that that she had to lean heavily on Kili's arm so that she didn't fall. When she finally managed to pull herself together, she explained, "My mother was a Took lass through and through. Half the scrapes that I got into were directly her fault. She was wild and lovely and free. And yet somehow she and my father fit so well together, they complimented each other. What about your father? You've never really talked about him, just your amad."

Kili answered absently, steering her carefully around a section under construction, "Well, adad's quiet, I suppose, compared to the rest of us Durins. We're a noisy lot, as I'm sure you've already figured out. But he's got a mischievous streak as wide as Ered Luin. Where do you think Fee and I get it from, certainly not uncle." He greeted the guards absently as they passed and they murmured greetings in return.

Bella smiled at the guards, best she could, and they offered her quiet greetings as well. "That's true, he's not exactly the most cheerful, although he's getting better. Are the bandages still properly in place? You know what the elves said, no direct sunlight on my eyes." She frowned as she suddenly realized what he'd sat, "Wait, your adad's alive?"

Kili had released her arm and was carefully adjusting the bandage wrapped around her eyes that circled her entire head. Focused on the task, he answered, "Yeah, he stayed in Ered Luin to help amad, even though he really wanted to come. You thought he was dead?"

She shrugged, "Well, you've never mentioned him, just your amad. I was afraid to ask."

Kili waved her concern aside, "When you meet them, you'll understand. You're all set. Ready?"

She nodded, tugging her shawl closer around her, "It'll be nice to go outside, feel a breeze on my face."

He looped her arm through his and tugged her towards the gate, "As the lady wishes."

They were through the large gate in moments and stepping out into the sunshine. The breeze was light and not too brisk. Smiling, she turned her face up and just allowed the sun to soak into her skin. Kili didn't say anything, just stood there and allowed her to drink in the sunlight as much as she wished. It was several minutes before she finally tilted her head back down and smiled at him. "Thank you, Kee. It's nice to feel the sun on my face. Do you have duties that you need to tend to or can we stroll for a bit?"

He started leading her down the path, "No, my duties are done for the day and the others know where to find me. I'm yours for as long as you wish."

They walked in silence for several moments, the only sounds were his footsteps and the swish of her skirts. She was the one to break the silence, her voice gentle, "Are you going to tell me what's bothering you?"

He didn't reply for a moment before asking, "Why do you think that anything is bothering me?"

She offered him a rueful, crooked grin, "Even a blind woman can tell when she's walking in the sun. There's a shadow in your voice, my sunny Kili. You do your best to conceal it and most probably don't hear it, but as I told you, hobbits have excellent hearing."

He sighed and it was a heavy sound, laden with a burden that he had been struggling to carry alone for some time now. "Promise you won't tell anyone?"

She squeezed his arm gently, "Of course, you have my word. Tell me what's going on, Kee."

It was like a dam had finally burst and the words just poured out of him. He spoke of Tauriel, the red headed elf maiden who was the captain of Thranduil's guards. Bella vaguely remembered seeing her talking to Kili one night outside of his cell, but that whole time was a bit of a blur. She'd remembered that the elf maid had been lovely though, and kind, something that had been notable in that place. As he told Bella about her, his voice was filled with love and yearning. He told her how Tauriel had saved him in Laketown and again during the battle. How they had been working together of the past several months trying to work out a treaty between Mirkwood and Erebor.

She just listened as he spoke and offered sympathetic noises at the correct points. When he spoke about how Tauriel was pulling away and how the dwarves in Erebor and even the company were against dwarves, although they thought that Tauriel was at least tolerable. About how confused he was, whether to chase her or follow her seeming wishes and let her be.

She waited until he ran out of words and walked for a few minutes in silence to allow him to process everything that he'd just spilled. Finally he heaved a sigh and asked, "Bella, what do I do?"

Keeping her expression neutral, she asked quietly, "Do you love her?"

His voice was raw and filled with emotion as he said, "She's my heart, Bella. My everything."

She said quietly, "Your One?"

He sucked in a sharp breath before admitting, "Yes! She's my One!"

She tugged him back into motion from where he'd frozen, "Then that's all you need to know. It doesn't matter that she's an elf and you're a dwarf. It's the heart that matters, everything else is just trappings. And the world will throw enough obstacles in your way without you adding to them. I'm not saying that you should run away and elope, just spend time getting to know her, woo her, show her that she's safe to trust her heart to your keeping. You don't have to rush into this, both of you have the rest of your lives in front of you. But don't let fear stop you from taking a chance on something truly wonderful."

He hugged her tightly and murmured, "Thank you, Bella."

She hugged him back, trying to wordlessly reassure him. When he finally released her, she murmured, "No matter what, I will always be on your side, Kee. If you need to talk, you know where to find me. I know how hard it is to be in love with someone that you think doesn't love you back." 

Before he could speak, her ears perked up as she heard a heavy, even tread. She offered him a wicked smirk, "Speaking of hearts, I think that mine has found us."

Kili grumbled, but she could hear the relief and smile in his voice, "He hovers too much. It's like he doesn't trust me to take care of you."

She laughed at that, "If he didn't trust you, we wouldn't have made it past the gates. No, he promised that he would take tea with today, so he's probably coming to fetch me for that."

Kili stopped them and turned them towards where Dwalin was walking down the path. He watched Dwalin's face light up when he spotted Bella, he'd never seen the older dwarf look so happy and contented before, it was amazing how love could change a person.

Bella let go of Kili's arm and moved confidently towards Dwalin, "Husband, what brings you out of Erebor on this fine day?"

He swept her up and kissed her soundly before asking teasingly, "I'm looking for my errant wife, would you happen to know where she might've gone?"

She mock frowned, "I don't know, I think that this will need further investigation. Let's discuss it further over tea?"

Dwalin rumbled a laugh, "That can be arranged, Bombur even made those scones that you've been wanting."

She said imperiously, "Well, what are we waiting for then? The scones are waiting!"

Dwalin nodded his thanks to Kili and Kili grinned and nodded back. Bella called, "Thank you, Kili. It was so nice to take a stroll. Maybe you can come and talk to me again sometime, I always enjoy talking with my brother."

Kili called after their swiftly retreating figures, "I will." 

As he watched them walk away, he thought wistfully that that was the kind of relationship that he wanted. Bella was right, he decided suddenly. That chance was right there in front of him, all he had to do was be brave enough to take it. Whistling cheerfully, he headed for the kitchens. He was suddenly hungry for scones.


	2. Bella

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life's been busy, sorry for the slow updates. Enjoy!

The first time Bella saw him, she found him intimidating. Never before had she seen such a fierce warrior covered in tattoos with such a stern expression, although he introduced himself politely enough. She pushed the fear aside over the course of the evening, her irritation and her temper (never a biddable thing) rising to the fore. Over the next several days of travel proved him gruff but kind and she found herself warming up to him ever so slightly. He was curt with her, but at least he showed her the necessary skills to survive life on the road.

Then came the troll fiasco. After that incident, she could better understand his concern over her fitness to be part of the company, but she did not appreciate the loud dressing down that he gave her in front of the others either. Still, she had almost gotten them all killed, so she accepted the lecture with ill grace. She appreciated the little warg chase immediately afterwards even less. When they reached Rivendell, she was quite happy to put some distance between the dwarves and her battered self, in both body and pride, needing time to pull the tattered threads of her dignity back around herself and hide her raw soul. She thought she heard Dwalin growl behind her, but when she looked over her shoulder, he was moving away with the others.

Chalking it up to overextended nerves, she followed after the elf gratefully. Weary from the long few days and the healing that the elves had graciously done, she had decided to skip dinner in favor of sleep. From what she had overheard about the banquet in the following few days, she ended up being decidedly glad that she had not gone. However, her absence had led to Dwalin waiting outside her room for her to emerge, worried that either the elves were holding her hostage, she was seriously injured and it had somehow managed to escape his eagle eyed notice, or that she was mad at the company and wanted to return to the Shire as soon as possible if she hadn't left already.

This had made her laugh and admit that maybe they had gotten off on the wrong foot after all. After soothing him that no, she wasn't laughing at him and yes, she was still going to Erebor, she insisted that they take a stroll and at least start to get acquainted. By the end of their time in Rivendell, she understood the company a lot better and they were starting to understand her better as well.

Which was why the whole stone giants incident cut so deeply. She was so in shock over nearly dying that she missed the relief in Dwalin's tone, Thorin's cutting words making her feel chilled and so very small indeed. Small enough that she was trying to creep away like a mouse in the night when Bofur caught her. She was so wrapped up in her misery that she failed to hear the emotions filling Bofur's voice. However, her self absorption didn't last long as the very floor beneath them betrayed them and sent them tumbling into the greedy grasps of the goblins. 

She thought that she saw Dwalin and Nori trying to get back to her, but then another goblin jumped her and she was too busy fighting for her continued survival to see what happened to the rest. She did hear the malice in the voice of the creature living in the cave, the sly madness that twisted through it's words, although there were a few moments where it seemed to be as innocent as a child. But she knew that short of a miracle, she would not be leaving this mountain alive. To her surprise, her miracle came in the form of a plain gold ring. And when she escaped from the creature, she heard the undying hatred in it's voice, the wordless promise of retribution against her and those she considered hers.

She fled from that horrid sound, back into the bright sunlight and the safety it promised, even if it was just the illusion of safety. However, back in the light, she turned back to relying on her eyes instead of her ears. She heard Thorin's cutting assessment of her, not the mingled worry and hope that she had turned back to safety instead of a suicide quest. And when Dwalin questioned her about escaping the mountain, she saw dwarvish suspicion instead of disbelieving incredulity and thankfulness that she had somehow escaped that death trap alive and that she had come after them. She thought about lifting her chin mulishly when she replied, but in the end she was too tired and simply told them that she had made a promise to see them home.

Then had come the wargs and orcs and she was so tired of running and fighting. She was just a simple hobbit far from home and had been through much too much over the past few days. She could barely see in the flickering firelight, her eyes stinging from the streamers of smoke, and every inch of her aching from her tumble down the mountain. But when she heard Dwalin's roar of agony as Thorin ran to face down his enemy, her heart clenched and she ran after the king. Because in that sound had been the agony of an unbearable loss and she wanted to spare him from that, if at all possible.

And to her surprise, her actions had somehow been enough to turn the tide, for the true fighters to rally and save their king. Burying her face in the feathers of the eagle that had saved her, it was all she could to shove down the hysterical laughter that was bubbling up within her, begging to be released. Instead, she listened to the voices of the dwarves filled with both terror and relief as they called back and forth to locate each other and check on their health. But no matter how she listened, she never heard the voice of the king. 

They landed and she struggled to stand, her body exhausted and her vision blurred from both fatigue and tears. She heard the others crowding around Thorin, but it was all she could do not to collapse where she stood. Relief flooded her as she heard Thorin's voice. It was so low that she couldn't understand what he said, but Gandalf's answer was enough for her to understand that Thorin was asking about her. Digging deep, she found the strength to pull herself together and face him squarely. To her astonishment, he finally, finally accepted her into the company. She met Dwalin's eyes over Thorin's shoulders and he just grinned at her.

Then they were distracted by Erebor and the longing in all of their voices made her want to weep. Instead of giving into the emotion, if she started crying now she wouldn't stop until the Shire would be flooded, she set about getting them organized. Once they were organized, then she could rest, she was just tired after all. Dwalin joined her and they worked in silence, but she almost felt like she could hear his unspoken concern and approval of her actions.

* * *

When they finally reached Beorn's, she was so grateful, because she felt like she could sleep for a weak. As the others settled in to repair their gear, she took her mending and headed out into the clover field, just needing the peace and quiet of nature around her, untainted nature, that was. The fresh smell of the clover and the pleasant droning of Beorn's admittedly oversized bees, along with her exhaustion from the strenuous journey so far, worked together to lull her to sleep before she realized what was happening.

When she woke hours later, the sun was sinking towards the horizon, painting the sky with cheerful pinks and oranges. Sitting up, she stretched and yawned, feeling pleasantly relaxed for the first time in weeks. She was so relaxed, as a matter of fact, that she didn't jump when she noticed Dwalin stretched out and resting nearby, his ax where he could reach it easily. That was not what caught her attention though. It was the look of relaxation and peace on the burly guard's face that captivated her and she caught herself staring. Feeling her cheeks heat, she wrenched her gaze away and tried to climb quietly to her feet.

However, he must've been only resting and not truly asleep because he sat up and yawned as she climbed to her feet. He grinned at her and asked quietly, "Have a good rest, lass?"

She went to reply, her words suddenly abandoning her as he climbed to his feet and bent down to retrieve his ax, the way his muscles flexed and moved catching her attention. Looking away before he could catch her staring, again, she internally chided herself for a fool knowing full well that her cheeks were probably bright pink. Hating the soft catch in her voice, she said quietly, "I haven't rested so deeply for quite a while now. Thank you for watching over me."

His voice was a pleased rumble as he guided her towards the house, "My pleasure. At least the circles under yer eyes aren't quite as dark at they were. Now we need to get some food into ye before yer stomach rebels entirely." 

Her flush that had been fading flared back to life and he chuckled. Her stomach chose that moment to grumble and her laughter reluctantly joined his. Reaching the house, they were teased mercilessly by the others for disappearing all afternoon, but Bella really couldn't bring herself to care. It was nice to just have a moment of lightheartedness in the midst of the difficult quest.

* * *

That moment of light and laughter faded all too quickly until it was seemed to be just a distant memory, one that had happened in a different lifetime. Here, in the shadows of Mirkwood, even the thought of joy seemed far away and almost impossible. In fact, it was so dark under the trees that she literally could not see the hand in front of her face. She had tripped and fallen several times before finally swallowing her pride and admitting the problem. This had led to a furious flurry of words between the dwarves in the language they still refused to tell her about, their tone both bewildered and concerned.

She squeaked when someone took her hand and Dwalin hastily apologized, "Didn't mean to spook ya, it's just me."

She shook her head, her voice a mere thread, clinging unashamedly to his hand, "It's alright, you just surprised me. What's going on?" 

Shifting his grip so that her hand was held gently in his, he said soothingly, "Since ye can't see in this mess, one of us is always gonna be with ya, to help guide you until ye can see on yer own again."

Feeling disheartened by the fact that she was yet again a burden on the company, she whispered her thanks. His voice was gruff but firm, "None of that now. We've all needed a helping hand now and again on this journey. It'll be yer turn to help out again soon enough."

Although she couldn't see his face (although she suspected it was it's usual stoic expression), she could hear the sincerity and warmth in his voice. Relief flowing through her, she smiled at him, or at least where she thought he was. 

He muttered, "That's better."

However, before she could ask what he meant, he was tugging on her hand and they were off. Several dwarves led her during this time, the young ones, Fili, Kili, and Ori. Bofur took a few turns as well, trying his best to lift her spirits. Nori was mischievous and told wild tales of his exploits when he led her but was very careful to never do anything to break her trust. Even Dori took a few turns, their discussions about tea and crafting.

But by far her most constant companion was Dwalin. They spoke rarely but his presence alone was extremely comforting to her in this dark and scary place. It happened so gradually that she couldn't say exactly when she realized how comfortable and natural it felt to just walk with him, just be with him. So much so that she actually regretted when it got light enough for her to see on her own and she no longer had a reason to walk next to him.

So when the next day dawned and they set out, she expected to be just one of the company again. She was surprised when he just walked up and started walking next to her, as if it was as natural as breathing. She remained silent, but she couldn't help the small smile that curved her lips.

* * *

Bella could hear the company bellowing from a level away. She frowned in annoyance, she didn't dare visit them right now. With her luck, they would bellow out her name and she'd be captured by the elves before she even had a chance to free the company. No, best to wait until they had a chance to wear themselves out and then she could creep up and talk with them when it was still and quiet.

It took hours for them to actually settle down and for the guards to ease their watchfulness. Finally she found the perfect opportunity and crept quietly from cell to cell, looking for one dwarf in particular. She eventually found Dwalin in one of the last few cells, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and eyes half closed, brooding about something. He was probably furious about being captured by the elves, but it was better than being eaten by spiders, at least to her way of thinking.

Double and triple checking to make sure that no one would see her, she slipped off the ring and hissed, "Dwalin!"

His head shot up and his face was a complex mix of emotions while he gaped at her, relief, disbelief, and several others that she didn't have a name for. Then his face turned thunderous and he stormed silently across the cell to grab the bars in a white knuckled grip. He hissed back, "Burglar, what are you doing here, you little fool?"

She drew back, stung by his harsh words and tone. All of the fear that she had felt came to the fore at once and she hissed back, "What does it look like? I'm trying to rescue you lot. Or would you prefer that I still be out there with the enormous spiders?! I'll be back when I've figured out a way out, you just stay here and stew!" Whirling on her heel, she walked away, ignoring him when he called pleadingly after her. 

Once she was sufficiently far away from his cell, she slipped the ring back on, resisting the urge to sniffle forlornly. She wasn't a fool, no matter what that rock headed dwarf might think. She was a smart, independent hobbit and had been doing quite well for herself before a pack of trouble magnet dwarves stumbled into her life. And he had called her burglar. That stung. He hadn't called her that for weeks and she had thought that they had finally become friends. Well, she had been wrong, apparently.

Squaring her shoulders, she started making her way through the halls again in search of a way out. She would show him! She would find a way out and he would have no choice but to apologize for calling her a fool.

* * *

Bella did manage to find a way out, but it had been a foolish risk. The less said about that the better. The same held true for Laketown. Never before had she been so sick and miserable, everyone's voices sounding distorted and far away. Not to mention the greasy master and his creepy little henchman. By the time she could breathe through her nose again, she and Dwalin had made a tentative truce, but they'd lost most of their earlier easiness which saddened her greatly. When they left Laketown, Bella was exceedingly glad to see the last of it.

* * *

Staring at the dark doorway that led into Erebor, Bella swallowed heavily. Maybe she shouldn't have been so quick to dismiss the elven king's dungeons and Laketown, after all, they had the benefit of not having a dragon in residence. It had seemed so doable when she was in Bag End, half a continent away. Now, however, she was coming face to face with the fact that there was a large fire breathing creature that could eat her in one bite lived in that mountain and she was supposed to steal from it without dying.

A presence loomed beside her and she didn't even flinch, knowing exactly who it was. Dwalin asked quietly, "Afraid?"

Instead of answering the question, she said softly, "I'm sorry for our disagreement."

His growl cut across her words, causing her to stop speaking. His hands clenched into fists and his voice was low and fierce, "Don't ye dare apologize. Ye are not going to die. Yer going to go down there and see if Smaug still lives. If he doesn't, then ye can look for the stone. If he does, ye run straight back to us and we'll find another way to reclaim the Arkenstone. Anything else is unacceptable."

She turned and examined him, his features illuminated in the moonlight. Her heart turned over and she offered him a rueful smile, "Very well then, I'm not sorry." She nodded at where the dwarf king was pacing, "Does he approve of your plan for me to return if the dragon is still alive?"

Dwalin grumbled, "If he has a problem with it, I'll just have to knock some sense into his stone head."

Looking at his tense posture and the way he was shifting anxiously, Bella thought absently that it almost looked like he wanted Thorin to disagree with him so he could work off some of his nervous energy. Suddenly wanting to get this over with and feeling bold, she reached out and squeezed his hand, grinning brightly at him. "Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it. It'll take more than some puffed up dragon to kill me."

His expression was mutinous before sighing and turning away, calling over his shoulder, "Make it quick, burglar."

Grumbling silently, she turned and made her way into the dark interior of Erebor. She could do this, easy, nothing to it.

* * *

An inordinate amount of running and screaming later, Bella watched in disbelief as Smaug fell into Long Lake, never to rise again. She leaned weakly against Dwalin, her voice a hoarse whisper, "He's dead, he's really dead."

He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer, seemingly in as much shock as she was. He was just turning towards her, maybe to say something, when Thorin called for him. Dwalin glared at him and turned back to Bella, but Thorin called his name again, his tone an unmistakable order. Sighing, he slid a hand under her chin and tilted her face up until she met his eyes. His expression was solemn but his eyes were warm as he said, "We will talk later."

All she could do was nod helplessly, unable to form any words. However, he didn't seem disappointed, instead, he smirked a little before reluctantly releasing her and going to Thorin who was about to bellow for Dwalin yet again.

Her knees refused to hold her any longer and she sank to the ground, wondering if she had just hallucinated the entire thing.

* * *

Cold. That's how she'd categorize Erebor. The mountain itself was, of course, very chilly from where the great forges hadn't been lit for decades beyond count. But that wasn't what chilled Bella. Now, that was the growing coldness and distance between her and the company. The treasury had a hold on the dwarves and every day, they grew a little more distant, a little more lost to her.

Even when they spoke, it was like hearing an echo or someone speaking in the distance, even when she was standing right next to them. Whatever Dwalin had wanted to talk to her about, they never got around to talking about. He was always busy, either in the treasury or trying to make Erebor defensible, she trying to keep everyone fed and cared for.

And then events were moving too fast to be stopped. Desperate to save her dwarves from themselves, she took the stone, the one that burned with cold fire, the one that she loathed with all of her heart, and gave it to the ones that Thorin considered his enemies. Through it all, she was dry eyed, much to everyone's surprise. However, she knew that it wasn't because she didn't care but because of the ice that had formed around her heart.

However, she still had a dim hope that they could be saved, even if they hated her for her actions. So, she returned to Erebor, clinging to that tentative hope that this would bring them to their senses. That hope died a swift and final death when Thorin's fingers closed around her throat. She had lost them, just as Smaug had taunted her. Even Dwalin was staring at them, his expression furious. As much as she wanted to look away, she refused to, allowing her own hurt and sadness to shine clearly through. That only seemed to anger Dwalin further.

Then Thorin released her and she could breathe again, but she had no time to reflect on this as the dwarves were hustling her over to where she'd left her rope. As she passed Dwalin, he rasped, "Never return here."

Those three little words froze her heart entirely. She climbed down the rope numbly and was only distantly aware of Gandalf talking to her. She had gambled everything. And she had lost.

* * *

That comfortable numbness lasted until just before the battle, her mind, heart, and body overwhelmed and grieving. When she learned of the impending battle though, the ice melted and a burning anger took it's place. She hadn't fought for this long, didn't sacrifice everything that she loved, for it to end like this. Everyone urged her to stay safe, with the healers or the women and children, but their pleas fell on deaf ears.

Her family might've rejected her, but she hadn't rejected them, and she would be cursed if she lost them now after all that they had been through. And yes, she was a poor warrior, greatly outmatched by the beasts and orcs on the field, even many of the allied force for good not knowing friend from obvious foe. But she had been in such situations before and managed to make it through, using her wits, her small sword, and the ring. A grim smile twisted her lips, if this was the day that the Green Lady chose to call her home, she would go with her head held high knowing that she had done everything in her power to protect those she called kin.

It was utter chaos and she found herself buffeted and carried along by the tides of battle. She did her best to listen for members of the company and aid them where possible, although she kept her ring on so that she wouldn't have to see their disgust when the saw her again. Needing a breather and to see what was going on, she made for the highest point that she could see. Unfortunately, the orcs had apparently had that idea first. And, of course, the main leader there just had to be Azog. She had seen enough of that particular nasty to last a life time, but since he seemed to be gleefully setting a trap for the Durins, she might as well just deal with him instead of her hotheaded dwarves facing him.

It was there, in the tower, that her smaller size became an advantage instead of a weakness. She managed to bring down the signals and caused major chaos amongst the orcs, including hamstringing Azog, although it wasn't enough to seriously hinder the white orc, it might be enough to tip the odds in their favor. She thanked Yavanna for the mail the Thorin had gifted her, it had saved her life, although the orcs had scored several small hits on her.

Stumbling down the stairs, she emerged from the tower and looked around hazily, noting with surprise Fili, Kili, Thorin, and Dwalin standing there. It looked like she had intervened just in time, otherwise they would've walked right into Azog's trap. Searching their faces desperately, she decided that Kili was the most likely to listen to her, he had been the least affected by the treasury. 

Limping across the courtyard, she grabbed Kili's arm, hanging on doggedly as he tried to shake her off. She hissed tiredly, "Kili, it's me. Don't go up there, it's a trap, Azog's barricaded up there."

She released him and was already moving away when she finished speaking. The dark haired prince whirled around, searching frantically for her, "Bella? Where are you?"

Dwalin's head whipped around at Kili's words and he scanned the area around them, grasping his ax anxiously, "Where, lad?"

Kili scowled, "I don't know, she grabbed my arm and told me that the tower was a trap, then she was gone."

Dwalin immediately yelled her name once, then again, but there was no reply. However, before he could track her down, the orcs swarmed out of the tower and they were fighting for their lives.

* * *

Bella heard Dwalin yell her name, the sound tearing a soft sob from her. It was all she could do not to answer. Only the memory of his expression filled with rage kept her quiet. Instead, she turned and threw herself back into the fight, her vision blurry with tears. She stumbled across the Ri's at one point and managed to create a small landslide onto the goblin band that was threatening them. Nori almost caught her, his gaze sharp as he scanned their surroundings, but then Ori called his name and distracted him.

The battle was starting to wind down and it was looking like the allied forces would win the day. It even looked like she might survive this day, which would be a minor miracle in and off itself. However, she had not factored in the darkness of the ring or how it would call evil creatures towards it's aid. She was working her way off the battlefield towards the healing tents, starting to feel light headed from blood loss from the myriad cuts scattered across her body.

She had almost made it too, when she heard the familiar hissing speech of the Mirkwood spiders. She shuddered but she was too tired for true fear to take hold of her. Instead, she straightened herself as much as her weary body would allow and gripped Sting tightly. Apparently it was her luck that was rotten, not the company's, like she had believed over the course of the quest. Seeing that there were only three of them, she taunted, "Come to try again, attercops?"

This drew their attention to her and somehow they were able to sense her presence. Feeling the sting of her cuts, she admitted that it was most likely that they could smell her blood, as gross as that was. Needing all of her strength, she slipped the ring off and tucked it into her pocket. The spiders hissed gleefully when she flickered into view, "Ah, the stinging fly. We will drink you dry in revenge for our siblings."

A tired laugh grated out of her, "Many things have tried to kill me yet I'm the one still here and I'll be here long after you're gone. But even if you should somehow succeed today, you will not see the sun set this night either, for I will take you with me."

They laughed at that and Bella swung into action, all of Nori's and Dwalin's lessons whispering in the back of her mind. Using her last throwing dagger, one that the thief had given her the first time she'd successfully picked a lock, she managed to kill the largest of the three spiders. This stunned the remaining two just long enough for her to sweep forward and end the second one with Sting. 

The third one, although smaller than the other two, moved quicker than the others had and got out of the way of Bella's back swing. Bella whirled to face it, her movements slower and more clumsy than she liked, and that proved to be her undoing. Right as she turned, the spider sprayed venom that struck her straight in the face, blinding her instantly and causing excruciating pain to course through her body. But she had felt pain before and she would, if she lived through this, undoubtedly feel pain again. She hadn't come all this way, faced down a fire breathing dragon for Yavanna's sake, to die at the hands of an oversized bug.

Dropping into her firm stance, the one the Dwalin had drilled her in repeatedly and one that no one could budge Dwalin from when he settled into it, she set herself and lifted Sting for a final defense. Enraged by the loss of it's companions, the spider charged recklessly, screaming it's rage. Bella could feel it's hot breath on her face and she prepared herself to die, barely feeling the jolt on her blade. It took her several moments to realize through the haze of her pain that the spider's scream of rage had changed to one of pain before choking off and dying entirely.

The weight disappeared from her sword and she heard a light female voice, an elf if she had to guess from the inflection, said frantically, "Please, please, don't be dead, brave one. Kili will be brokenhearted if you die, please be alive."

Strength draining from her, Bella swayed and cast around sightlessly for the other person. She rasped, "Tauriel?"

There was a barely noticeable pause and then the elleth said, "How do you know my name? We have never met before." Bella swayed and stumbled to her knees and light hands were there, running gently over her, "Forgive me, where are you hurt?"

Pain increasing by the moment, Bella forced out, "Eyes, venom, I cannot see." The pain crested and she couldn't contain her agonized scream. Then the pain swallowed her whole and she knew no more.

* * *

When she came to, it was night time, or at least she thought it was from how dark it was. Straining her ears, she couldn't hear the sound of any fighting, so she assumed that the battle was over. But which side had won? She immediately shook her head at her foolishness. Of course the allies had won, otherwise she wouldn't be resting peacefully with her wounds tended. She could feel the bandages, even if it was too dark to see them.

That's when the past several days came back to her and she sighed. She had been banished from Erebor and then there was the battle, which had seemingly ended for her after the encounter with the spiders. She vaguely remembered talking to someone after the spiders, an elf maybe, but the whole memory was blurry at best. Which reminded her, she had been struck in the face by venom. Reaching up, she gingerly touched her eyes and found them swathed in bandages.

She wanted to cry but didn't dare, not knowing if it would further damage her eyes or not. Knowing that she would devolve into an epic pity party if she remained there, she sat up and pushed her blanket off. She needed to find someone, get news about how the battle ended, and if fate was very kind, find out what had happened to her dwarves. She jumped when a cool hand touched her shoulder, not having heard anyone in the tent. Curling her hands into fists, she demanded quietly, "Who's there?"

A voice said soothingly, "It's just me, brave one. I did not wish for you to wake alone."

The voice tugged at her memories and Bella ventured, "Tauriel?"

Cool amusement filled the woman's voice, "That is the second time you have called me by name, but I would swear that I have never met you. How, then, is it you know my name?"

Bella replied easily, "Kili has told me about you."

Tauriel laughed lightly, "I would believe that to be the case, but that doesn't explain how you recognized my voice. Still, keep your secrets. I sense no harm or ill intent in you, and your bravery in saving the company has earned you much honor in my mind."

Bella asked quietly, easing her hands from the fists that had formed, "Are you the one that saved me from the spiders?"

"No, you saved yourself, brave one. However, you were greatly injured in the doing, so I brought you back to the tents of healing."

Bella had never been short on courage, if she had been, she never would've gone on the quest. Not only that, but her Took stubbornness insisted that she face things head on, so she took a deep breath and asked, "Am I blind, then?" Her manners kicked in suddenly and she exclaimed, "Oh, forgive me, I haven't even offered you my name. Bella Baggins, at your service."

A sigh of relief escaped the other woman, "Oh, thank Eru. I thought that you were the companion that Kili was searching for, but until you awoke, I couldn't be completely sure. And to answer your question, you are blind from the venom. However, since we caught it so quickly, there is a good chance that your vision will recover entirely, given time."

Bella huffed out a sigh of relief, slumping slightly before catching herself and straightening back up. Suddenly it occurred to her that Tauriel would most likely know about the company, especially if Kili asked her to keep an eye out for Bella. "Tauriel, the company, did they?" 

She couldn't finish the question but she didn't need to as Tauriel answered quickly, "They all survived the battle. The battle itself ended the day before yesterday, but you remained unconscious. You are hardy indeed, to have woken so soon. Spider venom can lay elves low for days, especially when inflicted on the face."

Even though she had been banished, Bella couldn't resist asking, "And they are well?"

There was a complex mix of emotions in Tauriel's voice, "They are well enough for the moment, no major injuries although there were a few close calls, nothing that won't heal. But they are searching for you, desperately, I am told. They seek for their missing companion, the one that they treated so cruelly, it is said that they wish to make amends."

Bella raised an eyebrow and asked incredulously, "You mean, you haven't told them that I'm here?"

The elleth sighed, "I did not, for two reasons. One, I didn't want to break Kili's heart should you prove to not be the one that they were searching for."

She hesitated and Bella prompted, "The second reason?"

Bella heard determination enter the other woman's voice, "You have sacrificed and given enough. Tales of your deed, even just what is known of the past few days, have spread widely. I know that there is more to your tale, more that is not known, because one's character does not change drastically under pressure. That pressure only reveals the truth of a person and your truth is filled with the fact that you are brave and honorable. I know that they hurt you deeply when the banished you. I wished to follow your wishes on the matter. If you do not wish to see them, then it shall be so. However, if you want, I can either send word that you have been found but do not wish to see them or send word that you are safe in the healing tents here and that they are welcome to send one of the company to speak with you. Whatever your wish is, it will be so."

Bella flushed, "I do not deserve such honor, especially from you of all people. I am the one responsible for the escape of the dwarves. I'm sure that you received much censure from your king over this fact. You did not deserve such disgrace, when it was my fault that it had happened."

Tauriel laughed heartily at this, "So you are the one behind all of that incident after all. I must admit, I had wondered. Someday, I shall have to get the entire story from you. What is your decision?"

Bella sighed wistfully, "There's really no decision. Despite everything, I still consider them to be as dear as kin. Please, send word, but don't be surprised if no one decides to come after all."

There was a quiet rustle as Tauriel went over to the tent and spoke quietly with someone outside the tent. It only took a moment and then she came back over to Bella. Now that Bella had gotten used to the fact that she couldn't see, her other senses seemed to be compensating and she was pleased to find that she could track Tauriel's path and the fact that the tent was empty aside from them.

Tauriel moved directly in front of her, her voice filled with warmth, "I think that you are mistaken. Still, let's go ahead and check over your wounds now that you are awake and can tell me how each one feels and whether there is anything else that we should be aware of."

* * *

Bella wasn't sure how much time had passed, but Tauriel had just re-wrapped the last cut when she first heard it, her ears twitching slightly at the sound. Tilting her head, she listened closely and was finally able to make out the sound of low dwarvish voices arguing. Uncertainty suddenly flooded her, but she carefully smoothed her face of emotion, and told Tauriel, "It seems like you were right. I can hear dwarves heading this way."

Tauriel moved over to the front flap and looked out, "It looks like three have come, Kili, the one with the tattooed head, and the red headed one with pointy hair."

Bella didn't know how to decipher it, so she said simply, "Kili, Dwalin, and Nori."

The elf maid shut the flap, "Do you wish to see them?"

Feeling vulnerable and more unsure by the moment, she said softly, "I would rather see one at a time, privately, if at all possible." She didn't want any witnesses to what the dwarves may say to her. She was still not convinced that they wanted to truly make amends with her.

Tauriel said firmly, "I'll do the best I can, I'll step out of the tent. But if you need me, just say my name loudly and I will come. You need not endure their presence if it distresses you. Which would you like to see first?"

Better to get the worst over with first, either the yelling or the cold indifference, "Dwalin, please."

Tauriel's voice was sharp and determined, "Remember, if you need me, just yell."

Bella listened as she excited the tent and the brief exchange of heated words. Finally, the majority of the voices moved away, only the even tread of Dwalin entering the tent. Bella looked down at her lap, allowing her curls to fall forward over her face and hide it. She heard Dwalin draw a deep breath, almost as if he was steadying himself before speaking.

Desperate to put off his words of condemnation a few moments longer, she asked quietly, "Thorin and the boys? The company?"

Dwalin's steps were slow as he moved towards her, his voice filled with caution and uncertainty, something that caused her to frown, Dwalin was never uncertain. "They're fine, lass. The company all came through mostly ok. Kili said that we have you to thank for that, that you took down the signals."

She shrugged, "Pure chance, I was looking for higher ground. I just didn't expect it to be filled with orcs, which was a failing on my part."

He moved in directly in front of her, a tiny tremor in his voice, "It's a miracle that you're alive. Are you hurt?"

She frowned slightly, trying to pick apart the emotions in his voice. Normally, she would take his words as condemnation for her foolishness, but listening to him now, he sounded concerned and relieved. Realizing that he was still waiting for an answer, she said softly, "Nothing that will kill me, I'll heal."

His voice was rough when he asked, "Why won't you look at me? I know that we broke your trust, but please, Bella."

Bella sighed, gathering up all of her courage and flicking the hair back out of the way, tilting her face up to where she assumed he was. He sucked in a harsh breath, falling to his knees in front of her and she felt him reach towards the bandages over her eyes before he stopped himself. "I can't see you. And yes, it's true, you broke my trust, but I did choose to see you again. Am I still banished?"

His voice was hoarse and filled with such pain that it caused her own breath to hitch from the pain that she heard, "No, Thorin rescinded it as soon as he came to his senses. Oh Bella, lass, how can you ever possibly forgive us, forgive me? I as good as did this to you with my own two hands, when I just stood by and allowed Thorin to banish you, to send you away from safety. The one I should've protected above all others. I have failed you."

As she listened to him speak, several things suddenly became clear to her. There were so many subtle nuances to Dwalin's voice, nuances that she would've never picked up if she hadn't been blind. But first, she had to know, "Do you hate me, Dwalin? For my actions with the Arkenstone and everything else?"

He choked at her question and she could fairly feel the tension radiating off of him. "Hate you? Mahal, no! You mean so much to me, but I've lost all right to even be in your presence, let alone anything more than that. I will never be able to atone."

She shook her head, her lips quirking up as several things became abundantly clear, "Oh, you ridiculous dwarf." She waved a hand carelessly at her face, "This is not your fault, some spiders from Mirkwood decided to join the fun and I was a bit slow. And I will be the one to decide what's unforgivable and what isn't. I didn't see it, you understand. I thought that you didn't care, you see. But I can hear the truth in your words, your voice. You care for me, don't you?"

The words seemed to be wrenched from him, "I love you, lass. I have never been so afraid as I was that day on the wall when I came to my senses and realized what had happened. How dare Thorin lay his hands on you. And then there was the battle and you never came back. I was terrified that I would find your body out there, caught up in a war that you never should have been in. I could finally breathe again when we received word that you were with the elves, but the messenger didn't say how badly you were injured. I was terrified that you were dying and they just wouldn't tell us. And to find out that you will live, but have lost your bonnie blue eyes? I can never be worthy of you, not after all that happened." He reached out and gently touched her temple, his touch tentative as if he couldn't believe that she was really alive but dying to reassure himself that she was real.

Catching his hand in hers when he would've withdrawn, she followed his arm up until she could gently cup his face, her other hand joining the first. She leaned forward and pressed her forehead to his. He was frozen under her touch and she murmured gently, "Tauriel says that there's a good chance that I'll regain my sight. Also, just in case you were wondering, I love you too." At this, he turned entirely to stone, but she continued, "Yes, you broke my trust. But what is broken can be mended. You are a clever, honorable, brave dwarf. I'm sure that we can figure it out between the two of us."

She pressed a gentle kiss to his lips before pulling back. "And before you even think of suggesting it, I'm not going any where, especially not back to the Shire. Now, you might as well go fetch the others before they die of curiosity out there. Then we can work on figuring out how to move me back over to the dwarven encampment." She released him and scooted back slightly on the cot.

She heard him rise and make his way unsteadily across the tent, only to pause halfway then turn and make his way back, his footsteps firm and determined. She felt his fingers slide under her chin before tilting her head back and pressing a quick kiss against her lips. He voice was deep, warm, and determined when he spoke, "I will redeem myself and mend what had been broken, this is my vow to you."

She smiled up at him, her heart lighter than it had been in months, "I'll hold you to it."

* * *

Things after that happened quickly, Kili and Nori and then the rest of the company had been horrified by her injury. Hearing the true remorse for their actions in their voices, Bella and her dwarves set about mending the trust that had been broken between them. After all, they were family, and even when family made mistakes, you didn't give up on them.

This was helped along by the fact that they were all much too busy to spend time harboring grudges. First there was the cleanup from the battle to handle and then they had to get everyone into shelter before the first snowstorm of the winter arrived. It was a near thing, the first flakes falling as the last of the refugees made their way into Erebor. Bella had been standing beside Dwalin as he oversaw the people entering Erebor, smiling as he described some of the things that were going on. She had even felt a snowflake land on her nose and shivered before Dwalin whisked her back inside the warmth and safety of Erebor.

That was another thing that had changed between them. Dwalin had never been a verbose dwarf, unlike Bofur or Kili who could chatter the day away. But with her, he made sure that she knew exactly what was going on, his voice deep and calm. Even more than that, he had made time out of his busy schedule to spend with her. During their time together, he had opened up to her, telling her about himself and his life. Bella was fascinated and falling deeper in love with him by the day.

It was a month after they were snowed in at Erebor that Bella made her final decision. Dwalin had taken her for a walk to a cavern that he had found where the jewels were scattered across the roof of the cavern like stars. She interrupted his description of them, her mind having been only partially listening, "I've decided how you can atone."

He didn't pretend like he didn't know what she was talking about, his arm stiffening under her hand, "And what is your decision?"

She smiled up at him, or in his general direction at least, her eyes still covered, "I think that the only way you can properly atone is to spend the rest of your life at my side, making me happy. Marry me, Dwalin."

Disbelief and hope warred in his voice as he breathed, "Bella, no, you don't have to do that. I haven't even begun to properly atone."

She shook her head, cutting him off. "There's something that you should know. Hobbits love deeply and only give our hearts once. I have listened carefully to your voice, to all of the company's voices since returning to Erebor, and none of them have held even a trace of the gold sickness. Not only that, but it's physically taxing for a hobbit to hold a grudge, we're very forgiving people. The only thing that I wouldn't forgive is if you left me. So please, marry me, stay by my side for the rest of our days."

He carefully pressed a kiss to the back of her hand, his voice cracking with love and longing, "Are you sure that this is what you really want?"

She rolled her eyes, not that he could see it, although her voice was soft, "Do you love me, Dwalin?"

He squeezed her hand gently, "With all my heart, amralime."

She laughed, "Then say yes and then kiss me, you great lug."

He breathed, "Yes." Then proceeded to pull her into his arms and kiss her until they were both breathless.

* * *

Dwalin wanted to wait until her vision returned for them to marry but Bella was sick and tired of waiting and insisted on being wed as soon as possible. To no one's surprise, Bella won the argument, but compromised that they could have a nicer ceremony on their first wedding anniversary if her sight had truly returned by then. So less than twenty-four hours after she proposed, the two were wed.

Life in the mountain settled into a pleasant routine after that, the company all pitching in and helping her as needed, which grew increasingly less as she learned how to do things for herself. Dwalin was, understandably, overly protective of her but also the first one to step up and help her learn how to navigate a task. Everyone was busy with their duties, but Dwalin and Bella settled happily into their marriage, their happiness and contentment growing stronger with each passing day.

And when the bandages finally came off the day before the first caravans were scheduled to arrive, Bella's bright blue eyes looked into the dark eyes of her husband that were filled with a mixture of love and worry and knew that she was truly home at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Praying for peace, hope, and healing.
> 
> We are strong together!
> 
> Next chapter, Dwalin's viewpoint

**Author's Note:**

> Did you see that we lost Ian Holm? The world will miss LOTR Bilbo, may his rest be peaceful.
> 
> Praying for renewal, growth, and change.
> 
> We are strong together!


End file.
